Result: Reserves 9/27/09 vs G/A Atlas Res (A)

Greek American Atlas Res 1 Barnstonworth Rovers Res 2

On the way to the match Yuri prophetically prognosed that the weekend had all the makings of a Rover’s disaster – it was pouring, playing away vs a team who was in the u23 national championships, plenty of last minute player cancellations, unsure who was bringing the kit, and not 11 players present – or an epic victory.

He was right on both counts. The Reserves pulled of the epic victory, that paved the disaster for the 1^st team.

Starting with 10 against the young ambitious Greeks, the Reserves played smartly, finished with aplomb and fought bravely to a 2-1 result and now sit alone at the top of table. They compacted the field from the beginning and kept their shape throughout. Kaplan was the foundation rock between the posts. The Greeks displayed a lot of endeavor, but not much patience or the ability to break through the depleted Rovers. Contrarily the Rovers had the quality on the pitch to manage the match. And after weathering the first 20 minutes, on their first foray they won a corner. Pete easily won the header that was certainly goal bound but for a great sprawling save on the line, only for Lucas to pounce and blast it to the back of the net. Reserves 1-0.

Of course, there went any plan to conserve energy for the upcoming 1^sts match. The 10 Rovers slowed the pace, kept compact and stretch the Greeks with long balls moving up the field quickly and forcing them to reset. Strangely, the young guns repeatedly tried to go long often and quickly playing to a Rovers strength. They were unable to switch sides or keep long spells of meaningful possession.

They had chances, but the defenses and Kaplan came up trumps every time.

That is until midway in the second half. Sammie played the 1-2 with Lucas and he seemed destined to go clear on goal. The large headed Israeli sweeper had other ideas and literally threw his body as tackling dummy – head and all – knocking Sammie out. Only a yellow card was produced ! And a wobbly Sammie was taken to the bench leaving the Reserves with 9. Actually 8 ½ as Felix reinjured his knee and was unable to bend it but had to go on. Fortunately Randi was about to arrive, but unfortunately it would be a while until he got into the match. And as he was searching for his player card, the Greeks broke from the left, put a cross to the far post, and their striker dove to head it home. Reserves 1-1.

Sammie, seeing the team with 9, somehow willed himself back on to the pitch, and Randi followed to get the Rovers to full strength for the final 15 minutes. It was hard though to change the mindset from destroying to creating. But the did, at least for one attack. Randi played to Baskin on the left, he found Lucas in the box who smartly crossed it across for the arriving Sammie. He was not going to miss that one, and he did not. He slotted it under the keeper and the Reserves up 2-1.

The cleared and scrambled through 5 minutes of added time and preserved the 3 points. Pure heart. But, the 1st team game was to follow......

Team: Matt Kaplan, Stefan Lysak, Pat Brown, Felix D’amborse, Pete Watson, Stavros Zomopoulos, Sam Minaya, Yuri Krym, Ron Baskin, Lucas Werthein, Randi Lee

Result: Firsts 9/27/09 vs Greek American Atlas (A) by Kush

Greek American Atlas 4 Barnstonworth Rovers F.C. 0

Honestly I think I've blocked most of it out -- but to the best of my recollection here's how it went down. I could have the order wrong -- but you get the point:

5th minute - Goal 1 -- guy dribbled to my corner, crossed it (i couldn't contain his cross) -- his crap cross rolled through four defenders -- literally across the penalty spot -- some forward with plenty of time slotted it in the corner -- bouch had little chance

15th minute - Goal 2 -- through ball, middle of the field -- break away, salvo and george couldn't catch him, potentially offsides, but not egregious -- Bouch almost had it -- actually this goal i can't really remember

25th minute - Goal 3 -- ridiculous long ball -- george went to cover it and the forward chased -- then after the ball's first bounce (high approx 10 feet in the air), george tried to do his best Nate Robinson impression - jumped to head it and whiffed miserably. By the time george came back down to earth, the forward was about 10 yards past him one on one with bouch -- i think he almost saved this one

35th minute - Goal 4 -- there was a scramble at the half field on my side -- i remember literally trying to tackle a guy with my hands and I missed him, he juked my tackle and made a run down the sidelines, salvo came in sliding in, winger jumped salvo and continued on his way towards Bouch for a fourth goal

2nd half (watching from the sidelines) looked fairly balanced -- although there were some shots blocked off our goal line by defenders

Excuses:

I couldn't play, shouldn't have been out there -- direct cause for 2 of the goals

Refs (per usual)

George i think a little too ambitious -- to show his greek brethren his skillz

Randi, Lucas, Pat Brown, and Pete Wilson (who subbed for me at half) all played full games for Reserves

The baseball diamond in our half -- five large sandy puddles didn't help -- but it wasn't like we were moving the ball well.

Missing the Colin, Pugli, Andy triangle up top -- that hurt us -- we didn't adjust

Salvo, who actually ran 18 miles on saturday, looked solid -- but not his usual dominance

Einar looked good in the 2nd Half playing his natural midfield position -- in the first half playing as a forward, never really threatened, never really got the ball to him

Crazy legs Scott was a bright spot, but couldn't do much all alone up top. He played well without the ball too, causing problems for their defense

All and all it was a mess. We did improve in the 2nd half.

New boy Waddell was the only player approached by the professional scout at our match after the game, from either team.

Looking forward to polonia to get 3 points and get back on track.

Team: Dave Borchard, Mark Kushemba, Alan Alcade, John Salvucci, George Tagaris, Vidar Ekehaug, Einar Benediktsson, Pat Brown, Jordan Chirico, Scott Waddell, Randi Lee

Subs: (all played) Lucas Werthein, Peter Watson, Yuri Krym

Rovers Thirds Match Report (9/27/2009) by Jeremy Wine

Barnstonworth Rovers Thirds4 - FC NY Bravehearts 1

There, I've gone and given away the ending.

Barnstonworth Metro, coming off a stinging, absurd 1-0 loss to early table-toppers Homenetmen, showed up with proper numbers on a gray, but happily dry-esque Sunday afternoon on Randall's Island. Another new entry to the league with another fucking stupid team name awaited, this time a predominantly Southeast Asian team with two skillfill African players in the middle of the pitch. Thankfully, they forewent any organized pre-game warmup, blasting of "The Eye of the Tiger", or any intimidating matching headbands. Normal guys.

All did not forebode well at the start, as last week's brain damaged ref could be seen in his signature safety green shirt consorting with the referee of the current match; this the same gent who decided it would be within his rights to keep Mackers' player card after last week's match because he got his feewings all huwt. And true to form, this ref was also...let's just say...unpredictable.

The game had a series of severe momentum shifts, with the early joy going to the Rovers. The first 30 seconds almost resulted in a Rovers goal, something we're normally accustomed to conceding. All the early pressure was from the Rovers, with admittedly some comically bad finishing that would plague us all game long. Then, in keeping with a game of that wooden box thing with the silver ball that you try to keep of the little hole things, somebody tilted the entire pitch and the two opposing central midfielders started picking apart the back line who, admittedly, displayed some comically bad defending.

The first goal would go to the Rovers on something of a counter-field-tilting-attack thing, and a corner well earned was nodded goalkeeperward with pace by centerback Derrick "Handsome and Available" Kilfedder and magically redirected down and under the keeper's legs by Gavin "Discount Rate" Dick. Anyways, 1-nil to the good guys.

A second shortly followed, this time a well placed cross-goal shot from attacking central mid Thomas "Watchoo Talkin bout Willis" Obaseki. Their goalie and suspect defense exposed, surely the rout would be on.

Not so--Darryl "I Abscond, but only just" Crane gave way to Brian "Hackalacka" McMackers and, rather harshly, Mackers' first touch was more of a non-touch, springing a through the heart of the defense goal that was almost casual and "well, yeah." Halftime.

The second half began much like the first, the heart and work rate of the opposition noticeably subdued. The Rovers defense had began to stiffen and the midfield fully reestablishing control of the match, the third goal was a welcome and deserved sight. Almost like you see on TV, a midfield throw-in was one-timed well by Brandon "There's a wall?" Rowley onto already running Bernfeld, who glided down the line, skipped past a defender on the baseline, and sent a low, hard cross into Dick, who side/back heeled it expertly past the keeper into the goal. A tremendous little bit of play, and the match looked in control.

Rovers' fourth was to cap a great performance by Bernfeld, who received the ball in a not terribly wide position and finished well. Bravehearts (my fingers bleed writing these dumb ass team names. I hope we play the fucking New Jersey Awesomes next) piled on last pressure, but the defense, and especially James the goalie held up and end of match.

Thoughts of winning the league this year should be our expectation, especially with a good 14 person post-game pub showing. The loss stings, but the 2 wins so far will do.

Gameday squad:

James Krapp (g)
Sarg "Skin Creme Expo" Schlatter
Darryl Crane
Derrick Kilfedder
Jeremy "Scoop" Wine
Thomas Obaseki
Juan "I Gesticulate in your General Direction" Gonzalez Casares
Sergio "I can play anyone, I mean anywhere" Restrepo
Brandon "I'm still the scoring leader" Rowley
Okey "Sit in my car seat" Obudulu
Mackers
Bruce "I can chest the ball 35 yards" Sholltrain

Also at the pub: Jeremy Brown, Anastasia, two douchebags who didn't want to pay for a salisbury steak because it was like a hamburger.

Result: Lady Rovers 9/27/09

Rovers 1: 6 - CPR White: 0
Goals: Courtney Carter x2, Susan Marshall x2, Jenn North, Liz Dyjak

Rovers 1 went into their second game of the season 1-0 after squeaking
by the kickers (Sorry I was drunk at the Jets game). The weather was
cold and rainy; the field was pocketed with pools of water. However,
we had 2 subs and welcomed a bunch of new, highly
talented/nice/

personable ladies who all ended up contributing and more
to the game [note from the editor, that would be 8 new players out of 13 that day - Rovers meet Annie Ecks aka X, Amy P aka Paige, Liz "we'll find you a temporary nickname next week", Andi "try to beat me on a header if you can", "Finnish weather just suits my Irish genes" Shannon, Lorenna aka "nobody puts baby in the corner", Abby "the colonel" Kurtz-P and Rachel "do you like my freckles" Sweeney guest appearing from Rovers 2].
We came out passing strong and moving the ball extremely
well, especially in spite of the field conditions. We got up a few
goals early in the game, the keeper was clearly frustrated (which led
her to no longer use her hands but instead use her knees, wtf?) and
pretty much shut down the opposition before the half.
The second half we got better accustomed to the lakes on the field and
were able to move the ball across the middle and switch the field more
often. A few great long runs on the outside, solid defense, smart
forwards, and 6 goals later Rovers came out victorious.
I'm sorry I don't know specifics about goals scored BUT here is the
order and the goal scorers:
1st half: Courtney, Liz, Jen
2nd half: Courtney, Susan, Susan.

Shout out to Mary Lawton (who straight up smelled like tequila) who
weathered the storm and stood under an umbrella the whole game because
we "needed" her uniform.

Result: Lady Rovers 2 9/27/09 by Nicolas

Rovers 2: 0 - Vendaval: 1

report to follow

Over 30's match report - 9/27/09 by Martin

NY Dinamo o30 3 BRFC o30 1

another total bummer sunday saw us 3-0 down at halftime to last years champions Dinamo...we could have folded completely but gave a very positive 2nd half performance totally dominating and scoring 1 and squandering many for an end result of 3-1.

it's unlike this team to give up so many goals but we are obviously struggling to put it in at the other end too - now rock bottom of the league with 2 goals for and 10 against.

Dinamo are already running away in our division but with a complete turnaround i believe we can challenge for that 2nd playoff spot and our chance to prove that comes v's Kickers very early next week.

Nick got our goal and Messmer who knows he should have had 1 of the 3 made up for it by stopping three 1 on 1 attacks by Dinamo....noticeable contribution also by Brandon and if we can play like we did in the 2nd half for a whole game then the points should start coming.

as usual even with a heartbreaking loss at least 2/3rds of our team showed up for beers after..this time at our new sponsor bar Clancys.....we'll always do our bit for the club on that part at least! Martin

__._,_.___

Old Boys reports - 9/27/09 by Sheero

BOB 2 - Manhattan Kickers 2

It was cold, it was wet, it was early and there was no referee, but that didn’t stop us taking a point off last season’s play-off contenders – and it could have been all 3, given the amount of possession we had especially in the first half. But somehow we went into half time a goal down. We came out strongly in the 2^nd half though and were 2-1 up before you could say “bloody hell, these Barnstonworth Old Boys are not that bad and may do OK in this division”. A very sweet move down the right involving Jason, Steve & Magnus resulted in a cross to the back stick where Billy made no mistake with a solid header – there’s no one better in the air. Magnus put us in front with another far-post header soon after. But Kickers responded well and were soon back on level terms – the 4^th headed goal of the day from close range.

So the draw was probably a fair result, but we really should have made all the first half pressure tell a little more.

Match Report 0-30's vs Eintracht - 9/20/09 - by Ben Weiner

Eintracht 4 - Rovers o30's 0

The team that looks so good on paper has so far proven to be a paper tiger instead. Although the tilted score card doesn't bear good news, it also doesn't show the reality of the game. Eintracht had nothing on us for the first 30 minutes. We both had our driving chances with neither team really gaining advantage.

It wasn't until a cross from the left side into the box skimmed off of Olli's head into the upper netting that the tide started to turn. An own goal is rarely fully the defenders fault and it certainly was not Olli's fault in this case - basically shit happens - but it was a most unfortunate end to Olli's time with our squad. It was his last game, we had made him captain for the match, and we all hoped he would score one as a fitting end to his illustrious career. Apparently we weren't clear enough about which net. The game remained 1-0 at the half.

Co-coach Wisnom gave some good sideline advise to try and re-start the game in the 2nd half. We shifted a few bodies and came out loaded. The first 15 minutes were all ours. We tortured them through the midfield and brought it well into the box for several muffed chances. Not scoring on so many tries eventually takes its toll. A clear from Olli ricocheted off the forwards head and landed on his path towards another goal. 2-0.

Our heads went down and the wind then left our sails as they started to pull us apart. It was not long before the nail of 3-0 went into us as the same forward unleashed a nicely slotted left foot shot that swung clear of the outstretched Messmer.

4-0 was a simple counter in the waning minutes off of our attempt to push forward too far too fast.

Eintracht deserved the win but not at the cost to our egos of 4-0. Now we go to face the powerhouse Dynamo next Sunday. Lets hope we can re-write some of how we look on paper.

All played: Eric, Ben, Pat, Danny, Martin, Olli, Lee, Andy, Mike, Gary, Pete, Jeff, Messmer, Brian, Brandon,

Result: Firsts 9/20/09 vs NY/NJ Croatia (A)

NY/NJ Croatia S.C. 1 Barnstonworth Rovers F.C. 1

The Rovers were forced to leave 2 points in Jersey on Sunday. Yet, they created enough clear chances that they should – any other weekend Pugli and Jordan would have - put the result beyond any opponents. As it turned out, had they not displayed their quality and determination they could have taken the 90 minute ride home empty handed. It was evident that NY teams will struggle to overcome all the local elements and leave with all the points: first is the narrow grass uneven pitch, then of course, the local officials. The home team, instead of using the beautiful, covered, team benches, chose to crowd the near sideline, on the half where the assistant operates. That earned them a point on Sunday.

The Rovers dominated from early on. Their superior speed and movement was clear. Within the first 10 minutes, they had their first chance. Andy shot over the bar. Shortly afterwards, they thought they had taken the lead. Jordi put in a long ball to the far post, Andy tracked it down past the far post on the end-line, headed it back to the on-coming Pugli who made no mistake. The goal was awarded, but only briefly. The linesman next to the Croatians signaled to the ref, and the ref reversed his decision and disallowed the goal !

The decision swayed the Rovers off course and their reactions cost them 2 yellow cards. Just as they regained composure, Andy was clumsily tackled late from behind by the Croatian keeper as he poked a ball back into play. He had to be substituted - giving Lucas his first team debut - and may have sustained a knee injury. No call, not surprising, this time by the linesman.

In the second half, it felt as it was a matter of time until the Rovers converted their authority. Jordi supplied the balls in the box, Pugli found himself in the right places, but uncharacteristically could not find the net. It was left to Randi to finally open the score. Colin swerved in a perfect free kick to the far post, Randi arrived last and with speed at the far post and slid-volleyed it to the upper corner. Rovers 1-0.

Pugli seemed destined to make it 2 moments later, but he whiffed from inside the six. It was Jordi this time who received the cross, flicked it over a defender but skied the bouncing side strike.

Then, another Jordi cross found Pugli close to the far post, his header went over the top.

Croatia had made only 2 chances the entire match, when their midfielder was the first to a rebound at the penalty spot that he somehow hit over the bar, and a header that was first saved then cleared off the line by the Rovers. It was difficult to see how the Croatians could level the match. The assistant found the way. After a blocked free kick, the rebound was shot back to the box, Dirk – who was superb on debut at center back - turned and blocked the shot. The ref pointed to the corner flag, as did the assistant, originally. The Croatians yelled and screamed, the assistant raised his flag, and after the ref consulted with him, in-front of all the Croatians there, he awarded them the phantom penalty. Ben got a hand to it, but not enough to parry it. Rovers 1-1. Absolutely ridiculous !

The Rovers should have still won it. Pugli has another chance in the area, and in the final minute, Jordi broke in from the right, again, and found himself at the corner of the six with Pugli alone in the middle. He chose to strike it to the far post. The keeper was beaten, but the ball grazed both the arriving Pugli and the far post to end just wide.

The Rovers will build on the performance and the apparent depth of this year’s squad to face the league champions and State Cup winners, Greeks, next week.

Team: Ben Kartzman, Alan Alcalde, George Tagaris, Dirk Swaneveld, Mark Kushemba, Einar Benedtiktsson, Colin Marshall, Vidar Ekehaug, Andy Abramovits, Stephen Pugliese. Sub (all played) Lucas Werthein, Randi Lee

Result: Reserves 9/20/09 vs NY/NJ Croatia Res

NY/NJ Croatia Res 2 Barnstonworth Rovers Res 3

The Reserves battered Croatia 3-2 and confirmed they are back to being league contenders.

And, though, for long spurts they played good football and created plenty of chances, their profligate finishing and lack of match fitness made it more difficult than it should have been. Yuri may not have scored this weekend, but he preserved the 3 points with a miraculous goal-line stop and clearance between his legs in the final minute.

The Reserves, against the run of play, went down early on a brilliant left foot volley to the far post. Kaplan had no chance. Reserves 0-1.

Without panicking, even after newby Ajene had to abandon due to a pulled hamstring, they continued to control tempo and made Croatia chase the ball. After 35 mins they finally drew level. Yannick got to a through ball and slotted home. Reserves 1-1.

Moments later they went ahead. This time it was Corey who played the 1-2 on the left, carried the ball past 2 defender and took a center-shot from the byline that was deflected in before Yannick could claim his second. Reserves 2-1.

Lexi marked his comeback with a clinical finish in front of an empty net before the end of the half. Rovers 3-1.

That made it five goals this season five different scorers !

After the restart, the Reserves lost concentration and failed to put the tired Croatians away. They had the chances. And they would have been punished by the unwritten rules of football had it not been for Kaplan’s reflexes and Yuri’s legs !

Team: Matt Kaplan, Stavros Zomopoulos, Peter Watson, Corey Dempsey, Ajene Green, Ron Baskin, Yuri Krym, Nick Lynch, Yannick James, Lucas Werthein, Sam Minaya Subs (all played): Felix D’ambrose, Alex Schardt, Randi Lee

Lady Rovers 1 bring 3 points home 9/20/09 - by Nicolas

Lady Rovers 1: 3 Kickers Premier: 2

For anybody who hasn't been able to see our new recruits at practice, Rovers 1 looks stronger this year than it ever has in the past. Expectations for the opening game were thus high and maybe a little too high for a team that had not played a real game together yet. The events of the day didn't help much in terms or preparation. In now customary Rovers fashion, Omar long thought line up and strategy for the game was thrown in disarray just before the game by last minute work related cancellation, party related lateness and a referee more interested in starting the game ten minutes early to make it home before lunch than actually looking over the game. Without time for instructions a mixed set of new and returning players thus took to the field in a slightly more disorderly fashion than planned and expected.

Much of the first half was spent pushing the game along while trying to work out positions on the field and trying not to get too angry at the absolutely awful refereeing (when both teams agree to write to the league to protest after a game, it is clearly a sign that something went wrong). Yet moments of typical Rovers brilliance sparked here and then, including the opening goals for the Rovers by Abby K (in a clear plot to make the life of their coaches as difficult as possible, our ladies have decided to all be born under the same first names – we now have 2 Amy, 3 Abby/Abbey, 2 Lindsay, 2 Courtney and 2 Emily – yelling specific instructions from the bench has already led to some interesting unexpected collateral effect this Sunday).

Now if you really want to ruin once and for all the atmosphere of an already shitty game as a referee, here is something you could do. You could only give a 4 minutes break to the players instead of the 15 minutes they are entitled to. You could also harass a player about a tiny ear stud and tell her, after she taped it very carefully that she can't play until it is entirely off. You could then red card that player during the half time break when she protests and piss off an entire team. This is however, of course, just a suggestion and any resemblance with fact having taken place this weekend is not a coincidence.

Deeply unsettled by the aforementioned event, Rovers 1 resumed the game on the wrong foot and the Kickers quickly took advantage of it to equalize. Soon thereafter, a foul was called against the Rovers dangerously close from our box. While our ladies were figuring it out their defensive placement, the Kickers very cunningly played the ball immediately, taking us by surprise and easily ended up in a scoring position, leaving no chance to our new goalkeeper Annie. Being led 2-1 by the Kickers was not part of the plan of the day and was more than we could take. Yet, it also probably was the kick in the ass our ladies needed. In a great display of team spirit, the ladies quickly improvised a very short team meeting on the 18 yards while the ball was being recovered and from there on, it was an entirely different ballgame. During the last 30 minutes, our ladies finally started showing what they are capable of and went on the offensive in a disciplined and constructed manner. Our movement and control of the ball just proved too much for the Kickers – who had surprised us by the high quality of their game until then - and within a few minutes of each others, Jen scored the equalizer and Courtney C took the game home and the three points with the winner. . By 12.40, well before the usual 1 pm deadline, the ref called the game and went home to his television or whatever else he was such in a hurry to do.

Taking the 3 points home proved very useful for Rovers 1 in a weekend during which the 2 clubs that beat us to the top of the league last year and the one before that, Magic and Vendaval, both unexpectedly went down to middle table teams respectively 2-0 and 4-0. With Rovers 2 pulling off an excellent tie against the Slackers, it looks like the season is up for grab and should be highly disputed and very exciting

Lady Rovers 2: 9/20/09 - by Nicolas

Rovers 2 proves it belongs in the A division with briliant tie in season opener

Lady Rovers 2: 1 Slackers (FCNY): 1

Rovers 2 took to the field this Sunday full of optimism yet with a little apprehension (or at least so did the coach). Optimism because after a full 6 weeks of pre-season preparation and a very, very successful recruitment campaign Rovers 2 had brought great new blood into the team. Apprehension because Rovers 2 was starting its first year in the A Division with a game against the Slackers (now FCNY), one of the most experienced and most solid teams in the League, and home to the most prolific striker the League has known in a long time.

We also took to the field uncertain whether we were playing a friendly game after winning by forfeit or an official game reduced to 70 minutes. Our opponent indeed made it to the field with 7 players by 3.29 pm, for a 3 pm kick off. Ensued a very polite but weird discussion with the ref who didn't know if the rule was that 7 players had to be AT the field within 30 minutes of kick off time or ON the field (the rules actually says ON). Though we were extremely keen on playing after making the 90 minutes journey to New Utrecht, we were more than a little annoyed with the delay. In a great display of leadership the ref decided not to decide and make us play the game but write on his report that our opponents were not ON the field before 3.40 and that the game only started at 3.45 pm (by which time they had an entire team) so the League could decide what to do.

Now I could go on and on describing every segment of the game in detail and with verve. But I'd loose you pretty quickly. So let me sum up by saying that Rovers 2 proved that its coach (aka me), unbeknown to himself, was actually a man of little faith, including faith in his own team. Rovers 2, indeed, not only matched the Slackers play for play but imposed its own game on them and overplayed them for most of the game. Any fear that we would suffer this season rather than enjoy it was dissipated within minutes of kick off. From the defense to the forwards, our lines which included 5 new players in their first appearance with the Rovers worked seamlessly with outstanding communication. There is not one part of the field and of the space the ladies did not use. At the end of the first half we were five shots (2 on target, 3 just past target) for the Rovers and zero for the Slackers. Fifteen minutes in the second half, Kristen used her speed to create space for herself and from the top right corner of the box took what was undoubtedly her best shot in a game for the Rovers so far. The perfectly fast and curved ball ended up in the left side of the net leaving no chance to the goalie. 1-0 for Rovers 2. The Slackers reacted as any stung team does by throwing everything they had at us but we held tight and kept on controlling the game. Twice they went though but twice they were stopped, once by great communication by Bridget and Abbey S, and once by Emily B who came out of her goal racing for a one on one against a striker and slid perfectly at angle to deny with her knee what would otherwise have been a clear shot. In the end, the equalizer came against the run off the game from a half shot, half clearance that fled towards the sun, looked like it was going to end up miles behind the goal and then out of nowhere dropped in the goal. I kid you not that our goalie and three defenders spent 2 minutes looking for a whole on the roof of the net to explain why and how the ball had ended up inside it. The mistery was never solved
And so, proud as they are, after playing by far their best game of soccer ever, the ladies of Rovers 2 ended up the game disappointed that they had not taken the whole 3 point home (unless the league decides it was indeed a forfeit), while their coach harbored a moronic giddy smile on his face.

Premier Match Report 9/20/09 - by Kevin O'Donovan

Barnstonworth Premier 2 Pele Masters 2
Goals: Nedgy Nazon 15'; Nedgy Nazon 60'?

2 goals each, 1 red card apiece, a missed PK and a ball that crossed the goal line but was not given.

Both of Pele's goals came in the first half on defensive errors by Rovers. First, Emman didn't pass back to Kevin in time, got the ball nicked and then Kevin was easily beaten after stopping momentarily following a whistle from the adjacent field. In between their goals, the Pele keeper did us a favor bobbling the ball and Nedgy pounced to equalize. Pele re-took the lead when one of their many crosses connected with their big striker who headed home from the 6 yard box. Again here, though, there was miscommunication between Kevin and Emman. First and foremost, Kevin should have come for the ball but decided to stay. Emman heard his shout and figured Kevin was coming and so laid off the defender. End result, goal to Pele.

Before the half ended though, Nedgy thought he equalized when his shot came off the post, landed across the goalline, but with considerable spin such that it bounced out. No goal given. After a Pele handball in the box, Nedgy again got a chance to equalize on a PK but his shot caromed off the post and across goal. 2-1 at the half.

Second half, we came out strong and put sustained pressure on Pele. Duane, Kendall, Alex and Nedgy all came close but the Pele keeper was up to the challenge. We did score, though, but I simply can't recall who or how, but I figure it had to be Nedgy. Our goal came just after one of Pele's better players had gotten quite frustrated, earning two yellows within 10 minutes. After the equalizer, the game opened up considerably with both teams having good chances to get the winner. Marlon, in his emergency substitute role, earned a late, straight red after what seemed to be a very minor altercation.

Squad: Kevin, Roger, Emman, Robbie, Maurice, Carl, Narces, Alex, Kendall, Duane, Nedgy, Marlon, Robbie

Old Boys report 9/20 - by Sheero

BOB – 2 Guyana Veterans A – 1

The strength and reliability of BOB’s defense – the key to last season’s success and promotion – once again provided the foundation for victory.

Last week, shots on target against us would have totaled 1 if the referee hadn’t gifted the opposition with a penalty and the 3 points. This week against better opposition, we were put under far more pressure, but still restricted them to long-range shots that rarely troubled our keeper. The only glitch was a f*ck-up between keeper & full-back at a corner.

But 2 goals, early in each half was enough for the win. In the first, a free-kick from the right well delivered by rookie Bryan was met by Greg with a neat side-footed volley giving the Guyana keeper no chance. From that point on, Guyana increased the pressure but stout defending kept them at bay until the Laurel & Hardy routine let them level the score. Our second goal came from a deep penetrating ball putting Steve “Luxury” Condos clean through on a high defensive line calling for the off-side that never came. With plenty of time to get the ball under control, Steve coolly lobbed the on-rushing keeper.

We weathered a late storm of pressure from Guyana, and on too many occasions that pressure was self-inflicted. But we had enough strength at the back to see it through until the final whistle to pick up our first win of the season. After last week, it was well-deserved.

No doubt there will be tougher games ahead, but we showed that despite missing 3 key midfielders, we have the depth to compete in this division.

BOB – Sheero, Rocco, Lordy, Dominator, Scooby, Billy, Greg, Macca, Jeff, Bryan, Colin, Maggie, Shoeless Joel, Jason, Luxury

Result: Firsts 9/13/09 vs CPR (H)

Barnstonworth Rovers F.C. 1 Central Park Rangers 0

Pugli poached another one in the 50^th min to settle the local derby for the Rovers. The Rovers dominated play and deserved all 3 points in the league opener.

They should have gone ahead moments earlier after Andy’s terrific 60 yard run when he finally shook off the last defender got to the end line before cutting it back to Pugli. Uncharacteristically, Pugli skied it over the bar from inside the six. He could, though, have had a hat-trick considering his 2^nd half header beat the keeper only to be thwarted by the far post.

The Rovers started with a line up, familiar from the midfield forward but revamped further back. They welcomed back Salvo – who, not surprisingly, was one of the top players on the pitch – and Alan, George both made their club debuts, as did Ben between the posts. Their unfamiliarity was easily trumped by their quality, and with Kush on the left recorded the team’s first clean sheet since early April with little difficulty.

Going forward the Rovers showed lots of promise, but predictably lacked some game sharpness. Still they were a class above CPR. They Firsts strung passes together, connected through the lines, and showed patience until the brake-through in the 2^nd half. Ben made a fantastic 2^nd save on a bobbled ball inside the six. Jordi was tireless on the right, and was a constant threat deep. Colin held the midfield, and new boy Scotty showed a lot of promise when he came in on the left.

But the goal came from a Rover tradition. After missing the earlier “easier” chances, Pugli pounced on a CPR defensive mistake, carried the ball in the box and slotted in for the only goal the Rover would need. Rovers 1-0.

The Rovers can expect a better quality encounter at Croatia next week.

Team: Ben Kartzman, Alan Alcalde, George Tagaris, John Salvucci, Mark Kushemba, Einar Benedtiktsson, Colin Marshall, Vidar Ekehaug, Andy Abramovits, Stephen Pugliese. Sub (all played) Scott Waddell, Mat Levine, Randi Lee, Dirk Swaneveld

PS> Not even an NFL running back could help CPR - he came on in the 2nd half !

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amos_Zereoue

Result: Reserves 9/13/09 vs CPR Res (H)

Barnstonworth Rover Res 2 Central Park Rangers Res 1

The Reserves are back. Putting behind them last year’s disastrous campaign they returned with a merited win vs CPR Reserves 2-1, a league playoff team last season.

As was needed, the Reserves were full of new faces, including some that were sharpening their tools for their return t the 1^st team.

The first half was finely balanced, both team finding their touches and each creating only a couple of chances. The best for the Reserves fell for Lucas who’s directed his sliding one touch strike inside the six wildly over the bar. Sam skillfully tipped the ball over the last defender at the penalty spot, but over-hit his lob over the bar. On the other end, Kaplan made a superb stop at the feet of a streaking CPR forward, then tipped a shot from close range for a corner.

The occasions in front of goal were still rare in the second half when the two old timers on the pitch to open the gates for the Rovers. Stav started it on the left, Lucas found Ron who threaded the ball in the back of the CPR defense in the box. Stav continued his run, got to the ball behind the last man and was pushed down before he could slot it to the far past. A clear penalty. Ron stepped up and sent the keeper to the wrong side. Rovers 1-0.

The Rovers continued from there to dominate play. And as CPR chased the score, they created more chances. Lynchie’s powerful strike was well saved, Yannick missed from close range after getting past the last defender, before another perennial Rover put the result beyond doubt. Yuri, hit a strike after a failed clearance in the far post and the Rovers up 2-0.

With the strength and consistency the brand new back 4 showed throughout the match, it was all the Rovers need. Oren, Dirk, Brownie and Corey (and Stef) were very effective. They easily absorbed the last gasp efforts by CPR who got one back, a minute from time. Kaplan made the initial save, the ball bounced to a CPR player following the play, but who could have been of-side, and into an open net. Rovers 2-1.

Overall, a very good performance with a lot of promise.

Team: Matt Kaplan, Oren Nhaissi, Dirk Swaneveld, Corey Dempsey, Stefan Lysak, Ron Baskin, Yuri Krym, Nick Lynch, Randi Lee, Lucas Werthein, Sam Minaya Subs (all played): Yannick James, Pat Brown, Stavros Zomopoulos

Match Report: Rovers vs Rovers o30's 9/13/09 0 - by Kevin O'Donovan

Barnstonworth Premier 3 vs Barnstonworth Rovers 1
Prem: Nedgy Nazon 43'; Stavros Zomopolous 60'; Duane Pena 85'
O30's: Jeff Martino 25'

In Robbie Davis' first match at the helm, Rovers Premier fought back from a 1-0 deficit to take the victory 3-1 against Ben Weiner's Rovers Over 30's squad. Early doors, our opponents started brightly controlling possession and creating several good chances. Unmackers' byline cross got by Kevin and after a goulmouth melee, Kevin saved a close range shot. Next up, former Premier coach and player Peter lined up a free kick from 25 yards out. His curling strike beat Kevin but only managed to ping off the crossbar. His teammates, however, were the quickest to the rebound and Martino? converted from close range.

The remaining part of the first half saw the center midfield trio of Carl, Narces and Stav begin to influence the match in our favor as both Duane and Nedgy forced excellent saves from the Rovers keeper. A through ball just before halftime found Nedgy in the area with his back to goal. He neatly flicked the ball overhead and scored on a resulting loose ball from close range. 1-1 at the half.

Premier took the lead early in the 2nd half when the ball was worked down the left flank by Kendall. He received the ball from Emman?, fought off a tackle and then the ball came to Stav at the edge of the box. Stav made no mistake, looping the ball into the upper corner and leaving the recently inserted emergency keeper Messmer no chance. The 3rd goal came late on when Duane headed in from close range.

It must be said that Narces was a force as the holding midfielder, making key tackles and distributing effectively. And the almost completely new backline of Emman, Ronnie, Roger, Kenton and as well as veteran Maurice patrolled the back line with aplomb.

Next week, we face three-peat champions Pele Masters. And if there is any lesson from past seasons, it is that you want to face Pele Masters early rather than late.

Squad: Kevin, Roger, Emman, Ronnie, Maurice, Kenton, Stav, Carl, Narces, Marc, Alan, Kendall, Duane, Nedgy, Bobby, Robbie (dnp)

Barnstonworth Rovers Thirds match report, 9/13/09

Barnstonworth Rovers Thirds (5) - Maltese (I shit you not) Dolphins (2)

The thirds are off to a fine and dandy start, delivering a proper "Welcome to the League" to Frankenside Maltese Dolphins, an amalgam of a reportedly ex-over 30's side flush with mostly younger and soberer players to do that whole "running bit".

Before the whistle, the porpoises showed purpose, showing up 81 minutes before kick-off to perform their team warm-up and tactical roundtable. Typically, the Thirds waddled in, one by one, in various states of hungoveredness, but to be fair, with about 14 players by the game whistle. Mackers and single-legged Jeremy Brown shared coaching duties in Juan's absence. Mackers engineered some non-standard players in positions, including Thomas "Spit & Polish" Obaseki in a holding midfield role and Derrick "Whatever I fed her killed her" Kilfedder with some outside midfield duty.

One would think the absence of vigorous arm gesturing and Juan's particular brand of dehumanizing exhortations would leave the now-intimidated Thirds listless at the whistle, but a good 10 minutes in, the Thirds were stringing passes together and calculatingly carrying possession into the opponent's half. Giving them fits all day, Brandon Rowley, of Rowley & Rowley fame, stung the crossbar only to see Gavin's follow-up effort trickle tamely to the shaken keeper. A few other chances, nay, breakaways, went hither, and it started to look like one of those days where you get as much in as *insert inappropriate simile here*.

And then, before you could blink, Rowley executed his 3rd of 12 identical moves that consistently lost defenders and powered in a beauty from a tight angle. Dave Bernfeld, who didn't put a foot wrong all day, then caught the defense moving a bit slowly, disposed the back line, showed the composure of Best Buy salesman on a TV weather set, and passed one into the back of the net. Rowley followed up with another and somebody else who wasn't me put another in (Gavin) and it was 4-0 at the half, Rovers firmly in control.

The second half opened and just minutes in, Rowley completed is hat trick with that same move. Perhaps they thought he was left footed or something. I started screaming to the victimized defense, "He's going to make that move!" but they never really caught on.

Nothing else happened the entire match (we don't count a certain Mr. Wine's lackadaisical defending getting picked while shepherding the ball over the almost-touchline giving away an easy goal). Oh, they did score from a decent strike later in the 2nd half from about 30 yards, beating a self-proclaimed cement-footed Jimmy James McNiceguy.

All in all, some classy passing and finishing to build on, and clearly, the entire league is ours already and we can relax and soak in the glory.

Squad: Brandon Rowley, Bruce "The Condition" Sholltrain, Jason Thomas Moore, esq., Brian "Mackers" McMackers, Derrick Kilfedder, Gustavo "Come To My House I Kill You", Garro, Sergio "Cake In Face" Restrepo, James "Goalie" Krapp, Gavin "Nice Defending There, Wine" Dick, Darrell "Popular in Ohio" Crane, David "Waterboy" Bernfeld, Okey "In Nigeria, Money Launders You" Obudulu, Thomas Obaseki, Sarg "Dave" Schlatter and Jeremy "Dbag" Wine.
Stood on one leg and waved to fans: Jeremy "ACLs are for Pussies" Brown.

Barnstonworth Old Boys report 9/13 - by Sheero

BOB – 0 Brooklyn Italians – 1

So a new season, a new division, a couple of new players – but the same old f*ckwit referees single-handedly determining the outcome of a game.

This was a well-contested game with very little to choose between the teams, a tough but fair contest. First half barely saw a shot on goal from either team. The Italians came out with more purpose in the second half, but were as stunned as we were when the referee pointed to the spot after a minor 50/50 altercation in our box. One comment I heard was “It’s a gift boys, let’s take it”. The penalty-taker looked almost apologetic as he stepped up and sent Sheero the wrong way.

It actually gave us the kick in the ass we needed in the second half and we were dominant in the late stages, but couldn’t find the equalizer – Jason hitting the bar was as close as we came, despite several chances late on.

Lessons learned? Never trust a man wearing black and we must be more offensive-minded id we are to compete in this division.

DAS.

46 hours in 'Paradise'Rovers Thirds travel to Columbus, OH

Rovers (from left to right):
Top: Jay, Brown on crutches, Mackers, Sholltrain, Darrell, Sarge and Tim Gable.
Bottom: Okey, Brian Moore, Dennis Bassett, Wino, Coach and Negro.
On August 14th, a group of Rovers Thirds traveled to Columbus, OH, hometown of old time Rovers, Jason Moore and Bruce Sholl for a weekend of soccer and all sorts of Midwest fun, which included a friendly game against Columbus United, last year's champions of the city's top Amateur League.
Special thanks to Ned, Rosalee and Brian Moore and family for their kindness and hospitality.